Da General APPROVED!

Empire Sparkle Heels: APPROVED!

The press release for these limited edition shoes came out in Spring and the official photos did not do them justice.  On Monday night, I strolled past the GEOX store where these shoes are smartly displayed and I immediately felt lightheaded- stars swooned around my head as a flurry of sparks lit up my eyes! “Sparkle Confusion” soon set in, as I wasn’t sure whether to focus on the fully SEQUINED UPPER SHOE or the RHINESTONE ENCRUSTED HEEL shaped in honor of NYC’s own Empire State Building. What a fabulous tribute and purely magical idea!

The only problem with these shoes- which do I choose?  Leopard, black and purple sequin- all are my favorites and all are APPROVED!

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos

FRIDAY IS SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

There’s nothing I don’t love about today’s Sparkle Video- from the opening scene right up to the end- it’s sex on fire!  Lulu is feeling it singing “I Love to Boogie” but we all know what she means. Her divine hotness in that skintight SEQUIN CATSUIT, thanks to a steady diet of carrot sticks, screams MEOW MEOW MEOW! Once her underage dance partner shows up in equally tight pants, high heels and shiny slicked back hair, things really heat up!

Grinding on the dancefloor, surrounded by a circle of strangers rolling around them- it’s just like a scene from Plato’s Retreat… except with clothes!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9cHujCeK48

Da General Music

Space Porn Sounds Like This

When it comes to music, the Sparkle Army’s motto is: We like both kinds of music- ROCK N’ ROLL and DISCO! Both are driving, hard, sexy genres that cause provocative and “uncensored” behavior and that’s the kind of party we all want to be at!

Today’s featured track is an Italo Disco number that rocks my world! “I’m Not Ready” by Fred Ventura is a sexy combination I call “New Order meets Divine at Human League’s house and then Bobby O shows up for cocktails”.  There’s got to be a porn flick somewhere with this in it- one with SPACE SLUTS in partially SPANDEXED BODIES, writhing to the rhythm while Space Ship Control lights flash all around them.  If not… let’s make one!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2-mUvP3HB8

Da General Beauty

Glitter & Diamonds…Oh My!

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means…. it’s almost Friday!  In order to keep my Soldiers looking their Sparkling Best, I am posting this makeup tutorial from Richie Nickel who’s youtube channel, “What Style is to Nickel” has over 65,000  subscribers. The adorable Richie does this this world a huge service by educating people on how to push their looks to gorgeous extremes and this tutorial is my favorite because it’s pure SPARKLE MAYHEM! That’s right… when it comes to beauty, Richie knows that “MORE IS MORE”!

Another thing I love about about this makeup lesson is that it’s almost in “real time”.  That means you can accomplish this dazzling look in about 15 minutes depending on your current skills and supplies. I’m pretty sure you all have glitter and diamonds strewn about your home so get started now- … it’s almost Friday!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESX-cksOvEM

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos

A VERY BRADY SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

To celebrate the long 4th of July weekend, today’s Sparkle Video is a slice of Americana on DAZZLE OVERLOAD! Back in the 70’s, variety shows exploding with sequins were the norm and everyone in showbiz had one.  Our favorite blended family, The Brady Bunch, was no exception and in this clip, are working SPARKLE OVERTIME in a medley of disco classics!

There is so much to see in this video- a bevy of dancers in sherbet colored GLITTER AFROS, “fake” Jan belting out “Turn the Beat Around”  and my personal fave, Greg Brady’s stiff whitewashed version of the Jacksons’ “Enjoy Yourself”.  There’s even cameo from the “What’s Happening” gang featuring top notch dance moves from Fred “Rerun” Berry!  All of this in a flurry of RHINESTONE MADNESS!

With the set, the costumes, the STARFILTERS– all so fabulous, it really makes me believe those Brady “behind the scenes” rumors must be true!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR9u9efiNvg

Da General Fashion

Great Moments in Disco Fashion History: Wate-On

This 1978 ad shows a hot sexy couple decked out for a night of Italo in their SPACE SLUTTY BEST and it’s all thanks to Wate-On!  It seems before taking this wonder product they were just “too skinny to have fun” and “it was really a drag”!  It’s hard to think about in 2010, but being “too thin” must have been just horrible back in the party-down 70’s!  Why else would the the scientists at Wate-On have worked so tirelessly to banish this plague of body issues from future generations?  They certainly accomplished their goals with a SPARKLING BRAVO!

For real tho’-  when was the last time you were asked “Do I look too skinny in these pants?”.

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos

2-for-1 SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

Today has TWO Sparkle Videos for the price of ONE!  The reason for this groundbreaking move is the artist himself, HAR MAR SUPERSTAR.  He’s not necessarily good, or even good looking, but has the DAZZLING BALLS balls to dress in spandex and gyrate around on stage and then- when you least expect it- drop into a split!  Watching him live is like seeing a man who loves karaoke so much that he cashed in his life savings to make records, go on tour and then terrorize people with his blindingly daring antics.

Har Mar Superstar truly has a special place in my heart because while everyone knows that there is nothing more refreshing than an ice cold TALLBOY, he had the good sense to write a song about it.  The first video below is the slick produced music video.  In this “hollywood” version, Mr. Superstar is dressed like an 80’s robot while lovely ladies get SPARKLE-IZED and Space Sluts have sexy GLITTER PILLOW FIGHTS!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SenLjPbGzU

This second video is him performing the song live wearing nothing but underwear and SPACE CUFFS! (get some!).  It’s like watching Ron Jeremy’s crazy twin brother on acid… J’ADORE!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG1ze9Vs4xM

Da General Stuff

Space Age Naughty Bits

This is the most impressive use of spare time I have ever encountered.  Not only does this person have time to write a blog, but they also have time to create fabulous works of art expressing female power with what else… LAZERS!  Colorful lights shooting out of lady parts is surely something I haven’t seen before but now that I have, where can I get some of these SPACE AGE NAUGHTY BITS? I can’t possibly go another day with my boring fleshy Neeners- I want LAZERTITS!

Wait.. make that LAZERTITS that shoot SPARKLES!!!

To see more check out http://www.lazertits.com!

Da General People

Captain JK & Dr. Sparkles

What better way to start the week than by paying tribute to the soldiers that make the Sparkle Army proud. Pictured here is the amazing duo of Captain JK and Dr. Sparkles- inseparable friends who joined the SA back in March 2009. They have truly embraced the Word of Glitter and work tirelessly to promote living life to the fullest. For this, we honor them today with a grand SPARKLE ARMY SALUTE!

Dr. Sparkles: How cool is it that we have our own actual REAL Doctor to look after us?  For even I, Da General, have cut myself on the sharp edge of a sequin during a long night of dancing. Having the shimmering Doctor and her bottomless supply of happiness around always makes me feel better at parties!

Captain JK: What can you say about someone who starts making his SPARKLE OUTFIT weeks in advance with thousands of gems and mirror tiles plus incorporates both the Sparkle Army and Monster Ronson’s logos into his design?  SPARKLE dam OCD is the only thing I can think of- in the most fabulous way of course!  The only downside is The Captain is also very enthusiastic about vodka- which caused him to leave the party early in blackout mode, run to the bridge and produce the most dazzling TECNHICOLOR YAWN ever seen by man!

Ahhh devotion, thy name is sweet.

Captain JK & Dr. Sparkles (photo by iheartberlin)

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos, Music

FRIDAY IS SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

Today’s Sparkle Video is a celebration of all things right in the world:  The legendary Toilet Boys reformed, live and SPARKLING! The show took place last Monday night at Le Poisson Rouge, where the AC must have been broken-because it was hot, hot, HOT!  Maybe it was the heat emanating from the band, who’s devoted fans endured the high temps and rocked out in proper NYC style?  All I know is they did not disappoint, and that includes new member Shane who has filled Rik Rocket’s combat boots fabulously!

Enough biz talk- let’s discuss Sparkle Fashion.  HOLLA MISS GUY!  Not one, but TWO DAZZLING OUTFITS and added bonus of the night, drummer Eddie making a statement in a BEDAZZLED TANK! Be still my heart!  The only thing missing that night was Sean’s show stopping “fire trick”, but that place would have gone up in flames in an instant!  Still- I can’t think of a better way to go.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vfetG8me5Y