Da General People

Rebi Sparkles

It’s time again to pay tribute to the Soldiers that make the Sparkle Army proud and right now, it’s all about First Lieutnent Rebi Sparkles. She is one of the most important people in the SA and without her, our parties could never be so fabulous because she’s the Master of Sound, Lights, Smoke and Lasers. No matter what outlandish demands Da General makes or however difficult those tasks might be, she gets it all done and then adds MORE.  She truly can make anything happen, but what’s even more important is that she’s dazzlingly fun to hang out with!

Because no party is complete without her, there’s nothing she can’t do and she happily glues mirror tiles to her body for the cause, please join me in honoring Rebi Sparkles today with a heavily glittered SPARKLE ARMY SALUTE!


Da General APPROVED!

Disco Mannequins: APPROVED!

This sparkling photo was submitted for approval by NYC legend Mother Krunk who said that these gorgeous creatures were so dazzling, he didn’t even notice where he saw them!  Turns out, they live in the window of a SoHo boutique owned by a reality TV star who will remain nameless. Why, you ask?  Because the Sparkle Army is Superstar Heavy, but CELEBRITY FREE! That’s right Soldiers, you don’t have to be a starf*cker to recognize that these “pyramid” mirror-tiled Disco Mannequins are not only fabulous, they are APPROVED!

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Da General Music

Gods From Outer Space

No, “Gods From Outer Space” is not another laser-laden porn movie, it’s the title of the long awaited full length album from Den Haan.  As many of you remember, they played the most dazzling live set at the last Sparkle Army party while wearing silver metallic space suits as well as brought along their massive sparkling party entourage from Glasgow. FABULOUS!  Well, they achieve top honors once again because this album speaks right to Da General’s heart as they don’t waste my time with the slow build. They go straight for the disco jugular and then rip it to shreds, just the way I like it.  It’s almost impossible to pick a favorite track, but I can tell you that spaced-out sparkle-sluts everywhere NEED this album so get it now… and that’s an order!

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos

RED HOT SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

Today’s Sparkle Video is just what it says not only because this song is one sexy number, but because the outfits are TURNING ME with sparkle jealousy!  The Supremes are nothing less than “Red Hot” while they commit a full frontal sequin assault and then follow it up with the double whammy because underneath those fabulous frocks are the only acceptable choice: black spandex pants.  Gorgeously big hair- check!  Luminous disco makeup- check!  Six point star filters- check!  There’s not much else to say here except, KABLAM! Oh.. and that I will be wearing that at the next Sparkle Army party.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkUM-fJe4Jc

Da General Fashion

Great Moments in Disco Fashion History: Space Disco Coloring Books

Okay, you got me- this really isn’t from back in the day!  It’s the Join The Sparkle Army Coloring Activity Book, a fabulous collector’s item from one of our parties back in August 2009.  It all started when Ronson and I decided to make jumbo coloring walls for the party and I was searching tirelessly, Googling “space disco coloring book” day and night to no avail.  I was so shocked and saddened to find out that no one had ever thought to make something like this.  I thought, “how on earth did parents expect their children to learn about all of the important stuff in life like disco balls, sparkly cocktails and Spaced-Out Sparkle Outfits?”.  It was then that I decided to create my own images for the party and they turned out so fantastic, Ronson suggested we print up a souvenir book for our Sparkle Soldiers to take home.  Yes, thanks to us, some lucky children out there now have a coloring book filled with funny drunk robots partying on the dancefloor mixed with vintage illustrations of futuristic fashion from designers like Kenzo, France Andrevie, and the king himself- Larry LeGaspi.  (Your welcome parents!)

This glorious souvenir from our legendary party is long out of print, but if you’re gagging to have one, there may still be a copy or two available in the archives at Monster Ronson’s.  However, if you’re lucky enough to already own a copy, definitely hang on to it because word on the street is that someday, it may be worth a bajillion dollars!

Da General SPARKLE ALERT!

German Sparkle Party!

No, it’s not Friday, but I just saw this today and had to share it immediately! Although first, I need to clarify something: there was no such thing as a “German Sparkle Party” until Da General brought the troops to Monster Ronson’s back in March 2009 for the very first Join the Sparkle Army party.  Now while I suspect The Something Experience is making a bit of a joke here, I love this video and it makes me smile a lot, but it also makes me wonder if they know about the Sparkle Army because our party is amazingly similar. Maybe they’ve been to it? Maybe they want to come to it?  It just seems a little too coincidental.. am I right?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-jN3vH26NQ

Da General SPARKLE ALERT!

Sparkle Army & NASA Secretly Working Together

Is it just me or did anyone else’s jaw drop when they read this article in today’s Metro?  Apparently, along with all of the scientific experiments astronauts are paid to do they are also making sure that dancing, booze and sex will be readily available for Space Tourism which, according to this article, is only a mere 5 years away!  That means that soon, The Sparkle Army will actually be partying in ACTUAL OUTERSPACE! Drinking ACTUAL SPACE BEER! I can just see it now… glitter floating around forever and ever, in weightless space like an eternal sparkling snow globe…

…So hang in there Soldiers because one day soon,we will all get on a rocket ship with our sparkle outfits and leave the right wingers and hypocrite losers down here on earth to fester in their own boredom.

KABLAM!

Da General Friday Sparkle Videos

FREEEZSTYLE SPARKLE VIDEO DAY!

Today’s Sparkle Video is a blast starting from the moment the TV announcer pokes fun at the band and the camera pans across a “white gloved” young lady doing the Robot. But wait… she’s not alone. Freeez is surrounded by squeaky clean kids wearing the white gloved look of old school Pop n’ Lockers! It makes me wonder- did they call each other the night before or did they buy them at the studio? Perhaps it was one of those wacky demands that bands put in their Rider? Were all the cool dancers at Soul Train?

I guess we’ll never know.  Regardless, “Pop Goes My Love” is a classic that you don’t hear much and this morning, it’s sounding FRESH!  Fresh enough to put me in a dancing mood and from watching all those colorful flashing lights- I’m ready!  Now, where did I put my gloves….

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4VW7yZVrJQ

Da General SPARKLE ALERT!

SPARKLE ALERT: Disco Smoke in a Can!

I know I never make two posts in one day, but I just couldn’t wait one moment to share this with all of you! What you see in this photo is Fantasy FX , the most fabulous invention since glitterized sliced bread.  Given to me this evening by NYC nightlife legend, Adorable Tim, this can allows for on-the-spot Disco Smoke anytime.. anywhere!

We prayed, the Disco Gods answered.. now all I need are those lazertits!

Da General SPARKLE ALERT!

Disco Bike: KABLAM!

I expected to see a lot of interesting and creative things last weekend at the Maker Faire in Queens NY, but never in my wildest imagination did I expect this! The Sparkle Army spirit is alive and well and living on a high-bike owned by a guy named Justin.  I originally saw him ride by in the the daylight and was excited to a see a completely mirror-tiled bicycle, but it wasn’t until the sun went down that I got the whole dazzling story.  Luckily, I was armed with a video camera because words just cannot describe!

Justin’s Disco Bike features:

  • glorious decorative disco ball mirror-tiling
  • ipod doc with additional booming amplifier
  • flashing colored disco lights
  • a microphone for busting a freestyle or karoake on the go
  • bottle/beverage holders
  • a camera for capturing special moments

This is a man who truly knows what he likes and has created a SHOW-STOPPING PARTY ON WHEELS and all I can say is: RESPECT! What’s even more fabulous is that he’s not finished, as you can hear through my unofficial voiceover interview with Justin.  He explains his next step is a projector that will shoot images downward onto the ground as he rides- pretty cool!  Of course, I had to ask about a smoke machine, which it does not have… yet.  I hope that’s next on the list-  whaddya say Justin?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVmcOCN-aRs