Sparkle Army & NASA Secretly Working Together

Is it just me or did anyone else’s jaw drop when they read this article in today’s Metro?  Apparently, along with all of the scientific experiments astronauts are paid to do they are also making sure that dancing, booze and sex will be readily available for Space Tourism which, according to this article, is only a mere 5 years away!  That means that soon, The Sparkle Army will actually be partying in ACTUAL OUTERSPACE! Drinking ACTUAL SPACE BEER! I can just see it now… glitter floating around forever and ever, in weightless space like an eternal sparkling snow globe…

…So hang in there Soldiers because one day soon,we will all get on a rocket ship with our sparkle outfits and leave the right wingers and hypocrite losers down here on earth to fester in their own boredom.